The best scene in The Carter documentary:

YOU SHOULD BE FUCKIN AT AGE 11 IF YOU YOUNG MONEY

i'm in love with one of my clients

The first time I met A-trak was a couple of years back, when Lewis Chaplin and I took him to the bagel shop on Brick Lane for an interview. We got to watch him kneed dough and I was basically creaming in my pants the entire time, but the interview itself was a bit of a car crash. 

Later on that evening I got drunk and proceeded to text his PR agent saying, 'HAS ALAIN EVER THOUGHT ABOUT ADDING A THIRD BARREL TO HIS NAME? LIKE 'TIVE'?!'

Suffice to say, the whole playing hard-to-get thing was out of the window by that time, not that I tend to use that technique much anyway. 

We had a few run ins over the months that followed, one on his birthday gig where I filmed his whole set about 2 inches from his face holding a bike lamp in one hand and a cam corder in the other. Cool.

Despite my attempts, which, to be honest were pretty much non existent regardless of my lusting, nothing ever materialized. I swept my dreams of a Jewish wedding under the carpet and decided to move on with my life, but then the other week a glimmer of hope emerged. 

It just so happens that the company I work for got asked to do the new A Trak campaign, and having to cover his press just rekindled loads of old feelings which seemed to climax yesterday before YoYo and manifest themselves as crazed Twitter updates:









Shockingly, this hugely professional display of affection didn't entice A-trak at all, and our brief encounter last night consisted of a gushing HELLO from me and a reluctant HI followed by a speedy U-turn from him. I'd say that he, much like Henry Holland, is on the verge of filing a restraining a restraining order against me.

My only consolation is the fact that he wears a stupid hat now, and his monobrow seems to have become a bit more prominent. But then, with love you grow to accept and admire peoples imperfections y'know?

(If you squint at this photo it kinda looks like he's leaning in for a hug)

someone important at the Swansea premiere

Tonight:

'you mean there's a direct correlation between colouring and success at a young age?'

Do you remember when I stole Henry Holland's rubbish with Jamie Taete? Well, we're totally past that now. Us three are, like, best buds. Vice even helped Henry throw a fake house party in Shoreditch (obviously) for Vodafone a few weeks back. How imaginative.

None of us really knew what the purpose of this whole thing was. But we'll do anything to support Henners, y'know?


Henry left loads of his samples lying around and I tried to blag these GORGEOUS Kickers that he designed.


And some other shit. He said they were press samples. I said 'I'm press and I'm sampling this'. He didn't care. How could you say no to us, Henry?


This is me licking fashion's pussy. Yeasty. 






WELL. That was one wild party, I can tell you. I'm still recovering, a month on! Luckily enough, the whole thing was captured on video by the guys at Vodafone, so if this blog didn't set the atmosphere enough, check out the clips here: A Clumsy Attempt at Looking Trendy

Bon Voyage...

Change is coming

My ass. Just in time for christmas. 

Dead Bees

Graham Coxon Power Acoustic Ensemble... epic.

Party in the USA

Wow, we're both getting really fat.


Juke is a new magazine our good friend Lucy Stehlik edits. I did some stuff for the first issue and DJ'd the launch with 2SHIN:



An Alexandra Burke moment.

The So So Glos' NME Radar piece. Beautiful quality:


My first positive Radar piece. I've changed.

Leftovers

Assorted photos from Frogland

I heard that Billie JD was a direct descendant of Hitler

S'TRUE Y'ALL

Jamie Taete and I went to a Twilight New Moon fan event. It was life altering.
Read more here:

Also forced a load of my friends to play football in Kensington Park in the pouring rain for a Viceland Fashion shoot styled by Kylie. THANKS GUYS:

So So Glos have been in London town this past week.








They played at Bronze Club where my big bro Dave Invisible was DJing. Gwilvisible! Does that work?...




Oh Ryan...


Come to the Juke Magazine launch at Proud tomorrow. Me and 2SHIN are going to be playing lots of Dancehall and Miley Cyrus.